Lucida Grand... Mofo

I've always wondered how the names of fonts are created. I could easily find this information thanks to the wonder of the Internet; but I feel like it would ruin the mystery. Like, the reasons I can imagine are better than the facts.

This happens often to me. Like, when I was younger, I wondered how patterned table cloths were made. The fabric ones, not the vinyl ones. I thought that someone would just take a sheet and paint the design on. I would imagine some older women (always women, is that sexist? Another day perhaps) gathered around a table with a white cloth on it, paint brushes in hand, just making beautiful flowers or patterns or whatever with dye.

Of course, when I was a tad older, I asked my mom. She told me to look it up online. I did. It turns out, that most patterned cloths these days are made in factories. On gigantic looms. I'm pretty sure that no one has ever just painted pictures on cloth.

Dreams, dead.

So, I'm not looking up how font names are created, cause it will end up that it's just like, "oh this guy a long time ago was named Verdana, and he wrote like this. The End."

Instead of being like in my head where computers look at the fonts and are like, being all fancy and computer-y and then some guy comes and is like "NAME BITCH" and the computer is like "LUCIDA GRAND MOFO."